NEW Book Review! Dare to Lead
Book Review: Dare to Lead
Diana Singer, PhD, RN, CCRN, CNE,
C-TAGME | AIAMC Board Member and Programming Committee Member
“Who we are is how we lead” – Brené Brown, Dare
to Lead (2018)
When I reflect on all the books, articles, podcasts, and conversations I’ve poured over on the topic of leading, I unequivocally come back to Brené Brown’s Dare to Lead. It is the single most impactful piece that has changed how I work and lead. More importantly, it has changed how I live.
I have been
leading leadership book clubs for almost seven years now, yet this is the one
and only book that my team has chosen to repeat. And so, as I sat down to write
this review, I realized I couldn’t do it alone. When we first “book clubbed”
(yes, I made that a verb) Dare to Lead, it was in 2019, pre-pandemic,
without a clue what was coming and how our values, skills, and resilience would
be challenged. Re-reading this spring (2024), week after week we simultaneously
discuss how many topics have become ingrained in our culture and yet we also have
picked up on pearls that didn’t necessarily resonate before. Ever the servant
leader, I asked each of my four leaders to pick their biggest takeaway that has
impacted how they live and lead; I will share each of theirs and end by sharing
mine. Call it a “top 5,” if you will. Everyone loves a list, right?
#1: Vulnerability: “Strong back, soft
front, wild hearts”
Vulnerability is
core to Brené’s work; she emphasizes how uncomfortable it can feel to be
vulnerable, especially when you are in a position of leadership. Naming
feelings and leaning into our vulnerable selves allows us to lead from a place
of authenticity. Likewise, acknowledging that it’s impossible to delineate
personal from professional values provides a needed paradigm shift. No longer
can you “leave things at the door” do you job; we must bring our whole selves
to work each day.
In Dare to Lead, Brené describes 16 facets
of “Daring Leadership,” which each resonated differently to us. One that
particularly stands out is practicing integration, where all pieces of
ourselves come together to create a “strong back, soft front, and wild heart”
where “that strong back is grounded confidence and boundaries. The soft front
is staying vulnerable and curious. The mark of a wild heart is living out these
paradoxes in our lives and not giving into the either/or BS that reduces us.
It’s showing up in our vulnerability and our courage, and, above all else,
being both fierce and kind.” Finding this part of ourselves is a challenge but
a worthy one, for it will change how you view the world. At least, I can say
with certainty it has for me.
#2: Armored Leadership vs. Daring
Leadership
In opposition the
16 facets of “Daring Leadership” are those of “Armored Leadership” in which we
put on our proverbial armor to protect ourselves and our hearts. Of the entire Dare to Lead workbook,
this exercise of ranking armored versus daring leadership behaviors and closely
examining the dichotomies between the two has led to some of our richest
conversations and commitments to ourselves, each other, and our teams, in 2019
and 2024. It forces questions like: how do
we show up? How do we want to show
up? What barriers do we put up? Some of my team’s biggest takeaways include
taking the time to ask questions; be in the moment with whomever you are
speaking; cutting out the noise and prioritizing healthier habits over numbing;
and ending meetings with gratitude instead of hiding behind cynicism, to name a
few.
#3: Empathy is a Skill
I feel we have
reached an era where no longer are “soft skills” considered, well, soft. In
fact, they are now recognized as critical to leadership success. Brené provides
the most eloquent and tactical definition of empathy I have come across in this
short video. Once we
realize that “people don’t care how much you know until they know how much your
care,” our mindset shifts and we can devote time to cultivating a culture of
empathy and recognize that feelings are human, universal, and should not be
feared. Likewise, empathy is a skill that can and should be learned. Dare to Lead provides concrete ways to
start this growth. It includes an extraordinary list of “empathy misses” and
how to reframe your conversations to better lead from the heart and meet people
where they are.
#4: Grounded Confidence = Rumble Skills +
Curiosity + Practice
Throughout Dare to Lead, Brené introduces a number
of specific terms and provides contextualized definitions. One of those, “rumbling”
entered our team vernacular via our 2019 book club and has stayed at the
forefront of our culture. According to Brené:, “a rumble is a discussion,
conversation, or meeting defined by a commitment to lean into vulnerability, to
stay curious and generous, to stick with the messy middle of problem
identification and solving, to take a break and circle back when necessary, to
be fearless in owning our parts, and, as psychologist Harriet Lerner teaches,
to listen with the same passion with which we want to be heard. More than
anything else, when someone says ‘let’s rumble,’ it cues me to show up with an
open heart and mind so we can serve the work and each other, not or egos.”
Eleven “rumble
starters” are provided within the book; these key phrases can be utilized to
facilitate hard conversations. One of my personal favorites is “the story I
make up…” Undoubtedly, we always find ways to “fill in the blanks” when we only
know some of the facts. This “rumble starter” allows you to reframe how you
have pieced together what you know and address a challenge head-on by sharing
from your own perspective without placing blame. Another favorite amongst our
team is “help me understand.” I have watched these three words diffuse a tense
conversation more times than I can count. They take off pressure, promote
empathy, and allow the other person to share their views. Conflict management
is a critical component of leadership, and this book has helped me learn to
“rumble” with empathy, integrity, and confidence.
#5: Clear is Kind, Unclear is Unkind
Perhaps one of
the simplest, and yet my favorite, takeaways from Dare to Lead is the key phrase: “clear is kind, unclear is unkind.”
It has become a mantra of sorts, serving as a reminder that even if it feels
hard, setting clear, objective expectations is critical. Whether small projects
or large, proactive clear direction prevents frustration, disappoint, and
resentment in the short and long term. These six words have changed how I
approach conversations both professionally and personally and are ingrained in
my mind and in my heart.
In Summary:
Organized in a methodical, pragmatic manner, Dare to Lead provides insightful takeaways coupled by memorable anecdotes. The Dare to Lead Hub provides additional content, including a workbook, videos, and other resources, making this more than a book, but a cultural revolution. I encourage you to read for yourself, share with your team, and always remember: “daring leaders who live into their values are never silent about hard things” (Brené Brown, 2018).
Brief Bio:
Diana Singer, PhD,
RN, CCRN, CNE, C-TAGME serves as the Executive Director for Academic Affairs at
JPS Health Network in Fort Worth, Texas, overseeing all educational endeavors
including GME, CME, UME, and nursing and allied health. She graduated from
Texas Christian University with a Bachelor of Science in Nursing in 2010 and
worked as a critical care nurse in JPS’ Level 1 Trauma Center upon graduation.
From there, she managed the Family Medicine Residency at JPS, the largest in
the country, for four years before moving into her current institutional role
in 2016. Dr. Singer earned her MSN in Nursing Education from TCU in 2018 and
PhD in Health Sciences from TCU in 2023. Her dissertation work focused on
fostering belongingness in the clinical learning environment. With a passion
for interprofessional education and practice, Dr. Singer also serves as
Director for the Center for Collaborative Practice at the Health Innovation
Institute at TCU. She enjoys traveling, cooking, being active, and making
memories with her close family and friends.